Chapter Fourteen - Sight-seeing and Ass Beatings…
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Bella
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“Oh my God, Bella look!” Alice swooned. I think she’s fucking high on angel dust or something.
“WOW!” She chirped again.
This is what it’s been like all day.
Bouncing, running and swooning.
I’m happy to report that’s it’s been three weeks since New Years, three whole weeks of fun in the well… cold, but, no death threats, shootings, or drama, beyond the norm that is.
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Bella
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“Oh my God, Bella look!” Alice swooned. I think she’s fucking high on angel dust or something.
“WOW!” She chirped again.
This is what it’s been like all day.
Bouncing, running and swooning.
I’m happy to report that’s it’s been three weeks since New Years, three whole weeks of fun in the well… cold, but, no death threats, shootings, or drama, beyond the norm that is.
Jasper’s been getting better and worse. Better, he hasn’t had a nightmare in a week and a half and he seems to be more himself again.
Worse, well, the protectiveness. It’s really getting out of hand.
That’s why Alice elected to have an all girls day, to save what was left of my sanity.
I know what your thinking; how could I ever be annoyed to be around Jazz, well, when he follows you everywhere, and I mean, everywhere, just being a… a… well a fucking man. You’d change your tune, too.
And every time I try and bring up his obvious issues with my leaving his side, he distracts me with sex.
Wow, that’s really not that bad, is it?
Okay, I’m an extremely stressed out hormonal pregnant woman, leave me alone.
Anyways, that’s how we ended up here, at the Killruddery House and Gardens.
Worse, well, the protectiveness. It’s really getting out of hand.
That’s why Alice elected to have an all girls day, to save what was left of my sanity.
I know what your thinking; how could I ever be annoyed to be around Jazz, well, when he follows you everywhere, and I mean, everywhere, just being a… a… well a fucking man. You’d change your tune, too.
And every time I try and bring up his obvious issues with my leaving his side, he distracts me with sex.
Wow, that’s really not that bad, is it?
Okay, I’m an extremely stressed out hormonal pregnant woman, leave me alone.
Anyways, that’s how we ended up here, at the Killruddery House and Gardens.
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| Glendalough Arches |
With only the women.
The men have been banished to their own devices for the day. Jasper would be staying at home to play some much needed catch-up on the family “business”. Carlisle, Garrett and my father would be out sight-seeing at the Monastery of Glendalough, and Emmett, Peter and Liam were out setting up the secret anniversary date Em had planned for Rosalie tomorrow.
I’m sure I’ll hear all about it after.
It’s been mostly nice, although Alice having invited the Slut Twins really wasn’t on my Jazz approved planner.
Yes, I said Jazz approved.
Like I said the man has gotten worse, I had to check in with him every two hours anytime I went anywhere and had to have Emmett or a guard as well, so I was looking forward to this trip as a little time away.
I was even excited about it… that was until Alice came barreling into the room at 6:30 AM squealing about how excited she was and “how much fun this was going to be”. It took her walking into my closet and coming back out to realize her mistake.
You see, I was still on top of Jazz frozen in a state of pre-morning reconnection, in other words we were fucking. I might have found the look on her face to even been comical if it hadn’t been for the need to… finish.
Jazz wanted to strangle her, well so did I but that’s besides the point.
She walked out of the closet still in mid rant when she stopped, blinked a few times, smiled sheepishly and then walked back out the door.
Yes, I said Jazz approved.
Like I said the man has gotten worse, I had to check in with him every two hours anytime I went anywhere and had to have Emmett or a guard as well, so I was looking forward to this trip as a little time away.
I was even excited about it… that was until Alice came barreling into the room at 6:30 AM squealing about how excited she was and “how much fun this was going to be”. It took her walking into my closet and coming back out to realize her mistake.
You see, I was still on top of Jazz frozen in a state of pre-morning reconnection, in other words we were fucking. I might have found the look on her face to even been comical if it hadn’t been for the need to… finish.
Jazz wanted to strangle her, well so did I but that’s besides the point.
She walked out of the closet still in mid rant when she stopped, blinked a few times, smiled sheepishly and then walked back out the door.
Don’t think she’ll enter with out knocking again.
Hey. At least Jazz’s ass wasn’t in the air.
MmmMmm.
My stitches had come out a few days ago and while I was still sore I wasn’t worried about ripping something open anymore, so it was on like Donkey Kong.
Dr. Grandee urged us to not engage in our “rougher” lifestyle for a little while. but we were free to resume having sex.
I’m really happy about that by the way.
Hey. At least Jazz’s ass wasn’t in the air.
MmmMmm.
My stitches had come out a few days ago and while I was still sore I wasn’t worried about ripping something open anymore, so it was on like Donkey Kong.
Dr. Grandee urged us to not engage in our “rougher” lifestyle for a little while. but we were free to resume having sex.
I’m really happy about that by the way.
Jazz was happy, too, or so he showed me three times that night, am I’m starting to think that this pregnant hormonal horniness has rubbed off on him; he’s been insatiable lately, and really kinky.
Like he’s started this new obsession of wanting me when and where we were likely to get caught. Hallways, studies, sitting rooms, you name we’ve fucked in it. Or on it. It’s gotten so bad that we’ve nearly christened the entire manor.
Like he’s started this new obsession of wanting me when and where we were likely to get caught. Hallways, studies, sitting rooms, you name we’ve fucked in it. Or on it. It’s gotten so bad that we’ve nearly christened the entire manor.
My favorite, I’d have to say was the morning decided he was going to eat me for breakfast and on the table, and were nearly caught by Carlisle. Jasper had just pulled my underwear back up when Carlisle entered the kitchen; wandering around half blind in search of his coffee and looking like a hot Huge Heffner.
I swear all the Cullen men should come with a warning label stamped on their ass at birth.
Warning: Extended Exposure to this man will cause your IQ to drop below the level of functional retardation.
I swear all the Cullen men should come with a warning label stamped on their ass at birth.
Warning: Extended Exposure to this man will cause your IQ to drop below the level of functional retardation.
Carlisle was so adorable in the mornings, all blind and shit. Little secret is; that Carlisle wears contacts, but only myself and Esme know this, he doesn’t want the rest of the family to know he’s getting older.
Can we say mid-life crisis. Next thing you know he’ll be driving around something red, shinny and shaped like a penis.
I think it’s kinda cute that he feels the need to hide the fact he needs glasses, but the man is blinder than a mole rat in the middle of the day without them.
Carlisle just smiled at us, and when he looked at me and ‘blushed’ I knew we had been busted, I further confirmed that theory when he kissed the top of my head and sighed ‘young love’.
Yes, it was very embarrassing.
I came to, at the sound of Alice’s extremely loud squeal and a four minute rant on the color, fabric, cut and style of the drapes hanging in whatever room of the Killruddery House we were standing in.
God that woman can talk and about nothing.
Can we say mid-life crisis. Next thing you know he’ll be driving around something red, shinny and shaped like a penis.
I think it’s kinda cute that he feels the need to hide the fact he needs glasses, but the man is blinder than a mole rat in the middle of the day without them.
Carlisle just smiled at us, and when he looked at me and ‘blushed’ I knew we had been busted, I further confirmed that theory when he kissed the top of my head and sighed ‘young love’.
Yes, it was very embarrassing.
I came to, at the sound of Alice’s extremely loud squeal and a four minute rant on the color, fabric, cut and style of the drapes hanging in whatever room of the Killruddery House we were standing in.
God that woman can talk and about nothing.
The house was beautiful, old and supposedly the grandest Elizabethan-Revival mansion in Ireland. Home to the Brabazon Family (the Earls of Meath) since 1618. In the 1820’s the 10th Earl engaged the fashionable architects of the day - Richard Morrison and his son William - to remodel the humongous house. Or so Alice informed us through one of her 10 minute tirades.
Like I said it’s a beautiful house, but what I thought was so cool was it has been used in films and TV shots including “The Tudors, Camelot, and Far and Away” and some of the grounds had been used for “Arthur and Braveheart”.
Can we say Clive Owen.
Yummy!
Now if I could just get Alice to stop screeching like a dying cow we’d be good.
At the beginning of our tour I decided to keep back with the fuddy-duddy’s and keep my sanity.
So Trudy, Rue, Esme, myself and surprisingly Elaine all stayed to the back and let Charlotte, Alice and Rose take center stage, while the board looking whore mongers followed behind, sighing at every turn and whispering… about me.
About me being pregnant before marriage.
Like I said it’s a beautiful house, but what I thought was so cool was it has been used in films and TV shots including “The Tudors, Camelot, and Far and Away” and some of the grounds had been used for “Arthur and Braveheart”.
Can we say Clive Owen.
Yummy!
Now if I could just get Alice to stop screeching like a dying cow we’d be good.
At the beginning of our tour I decided to keep back with the fuddy-duddy’s and keep my sanity.
So Trudy, Rue, Esme, myself and surprisingly Elaine all stayed to the back and let Charlotte, Alice and Rose take center stage, while the board looking whore mongers followed behind, sighing at every turn and whispering… about me.
About me being pregnant before marriage.
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| Kate Denali |
Personally I just think they were angry that there was no dick in their immediate future and I had the best in Ireland. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I happen to think Jazz is perfect.
They know it too, hence the angry.
Elaine and I have gotten along much better after hearing me out about what Edward had done and even better after she found out I was carrying her first great-grandchild.
It’s a miracle what babies can do to the bitter and vicious.
“I don’t even think he likes her, he’s just doing it because she says the baby’s his.” I heard Tanya whisper to Kate.
I heard Trudy scoff.
They know it too, hence the angry.
Elaine and I have gotten along much better after hearing me out about what Edward had done and even better after she found out I was carrying her first great-grandchild.
It’s a miracle what babies can do to the bitter and vicious.
“I don’t even think he likes her, he’s just doing it because she says the baby’s his.” I heard Tanya whisper to Kate.
I heard Trudy scoff.
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| Tanya Denali |
I know a lot of people think that Trudy is hard of hearing because half the time she won’t answer you.
Ha! Yeah right.
Trudy can hear perfectly fine, in fact I think she has better hearing than a junk-yard dog, she just doesn’t answer to “the stupid or annoying”, her words not mine.
“Ya know,” Trudy spoke up, clearing her throat, “for gals such as yourselves, ya sure run yer mouth a lot, I thought ladies of refinement would know when to shut the hell up.”
Tanya and Kate turned around, and I know they wanted to say something back, but Elaine was standing there, and well, they’re suck ups.
That and they know should they say anything other than the pleasant to that woman, would quickly result in me knocking their asses into next week, then they’d have to deal with Jazz, or their father would.
I guarantee it’s not something Eleazar would want to do.
Eleazar Denali was a little coward of a man, and he was ‘rightly’ scarred to death of Jasper.
So instead of saying anything they both fixed a glare on me then smiled to each other, and I knew they were planning something.
“Oh my!” Alice called again. “This would be perfect for the wedding.”
Ha! Yeah right.
Trudy can hear perfectly fine, in fact I think she has better hearing than a junk-yard dog, she just doesn’t answer to “the stupid or annoying”, her words not mine.
“Ya know,” Trudy spoke up, clearing her throat, “for gals such as yourselves, ya sure run yer mouth a lot, I thought ladies of refinement would know when to shut the hell up.”
Tanya and Kate turned around, and I know they wanted to say something back, but Elaine was standing there, and well, they’re suck ups.
That and they know should they say anything other than the pleasant to that woman, would quickly result in me knocking their asses into next week, then they’d have to deal with Jazz, or their father would.
I guarantee it’s not something Eleazar would want to do.
Eleazar Denali was a little coward of a man, and he was ‘rightly’ scarred to death of Jasper.
So instead of saying anything they both fixed a glare on me then smiled to each other, and I knew they were planning something.
“Oh my!” Alice called again. “This would be perfect for the wedding.”
I stopped where I was.
Was she fucking crazy?
Yes, the Orangery was a beautiful room, glass top and white marble, but I only saw enough room for maybe 35 people and that would be pushing it.
“Alice,” I sighed. “There’s no way in fresh hell you’re fitting 200 people in here. It’s just not happening.”
She turned and jutted out her bottom lip and widened her eyes innocently, she reminded me of that little big-eyed cat from ‘Shrek’, and I almost caved.
“No, Alice, just… no. I’m not even going to let you entertain the idea of moving the ceremony this close to the day of wedding, it‘s next week for Christ sake.
I heard Kate humpf behind me, and not so whisper, “We could just cut down the wedding party, I would be happy to take her place at Jasper’s side.”
Tanya just, “Mmmmhmmm’d’ her agreement.
I spun on my fuzzy Ugg boots and snarled at the bitch. That fucking woman was seriously fucked in the head if she thought for one second she would be coming anywhere near Jazz without out me putting said fuzzy boot in her ass.
Was she fucking crazy?
Yes, the Orangery was a beautiful room, glass top and white marble, but I only saw enough room for maybe 35 people and that would be pushing it.
“Alice,” I sighed. “There’s no way in fresh hell you’re fitting 200 people in here. It’s just not happening.”
She turned and jutted out her bottom lip and widened her eyes innocently, she reminded me of that little big-eyed cat from ‘Shrek’, and I almost caved.
“No, Alice, just… no. I’m not even going to let you entertain the idea of moving the ceremony this close to the day of wedding, it‘s next week for Christ sake.
I heard Kate humpf behind me, and not so whisper, “We could just cut down the wedding party, I would be happy to take her place at Jasper’s side.”
Tanya just, “Mmmmhmmm’d’ her agreement.
I spun on my fuzzy Ugg boots and snarled at the bitch. That fucking woman was seriously fucked in the head if she thought for one second she would be coming anywhere near Jazz without out me putting said fuzzy boot in her ass.
The whore would be choking on my faux sheep-skin lining for a month when I was through with her.
“Hey Kate,” I called, or maybe growled. “I have an idea, why don’t you shut the fuck up about Jasper from now on. Think your tiny brain can remember that.”
She threw a hand over her heart like I had fatally wounded her.
Yeah, keep it up bitch and I will.
~~
“Hey Kate,” I called, or maybe growled. “I have an idea, why don’t you shut the fuck up about Jasper from now on. Think your tiny brain can remember that.”
She threw a hand over her heart like I had fatally wounded her.
Yeah, keep it up bitch and I will.
~~
Lunch was interesting.
The food was amazing and so was the pampering, those fuckers waited on us like we were the fucking Queen’s of Sheba.
I’d like to tell you that I daintily cut my cheese and cracker in to tiny little squares that I nibbled on, leaving most of it on my plate when threw.
Yeah, not happening. I ate like a starving child from a third world country.
Granny Platt and Rue just smiled big and pushed more food on to my plate, stating that ‘I was all skin an’ bones anyways.’
The Denali’s looked disgusted, and Elaine shocked, but Alice, Rose, Esme and Charlotte where tittering like school girls, and I wondered if all of my meals would turn me into such a spectacle.
We snooped through the gift shop after lunch, but all I really wanted to do was ‘break me off a piece of Jazz’ and take a nap.
Who knew getting pregnant would turn me into such a ‘man’.
The food was amazing and so was the pampering, those fuckers waited on us like we were the fucking Queen’s of Sheba.
I’d like to tell you that I daintily cut my cheese and cracker in to tiny little squares that I nibbled on, leaving most of it on my plate when threw.
Yeah, not happening. I ate like a starving child from a third world country.
Granny Platt and Rue just smiled big and pushed more food on to my plate, stating that ‘I was all skin an’ bones anyways.’
The Denali’s looked disgusted, and Elaine shocked, but Alice, Rose, Esme and Charlotte where tittering like school girls, and I wondered if all of my meals would turn me into such a spectacle.
We snooped through the gift shop after lunch, but all I really wanted to do was ‘break me off a piece of Jazz’ and take a nap.
Who knew getting pregnant would turn me into such a ‘man’.
Eat, sleep and sex. The basics of every male on the planet, and I was living the dream. Oh, and did I mention I’ve been craving beer?I usually detest beer, but come a week ago, whenever Jazz drinks one I find my self salivating over his glass like a dog over a juicy steak.
I must be having a boy.
By the time we left that afternoon I was ready to collapse. I could hardly keep my eyes open on the way out to the parking lot.
I had been somewhat aware of the backstabbing whore behind me for sometime, but in my sleep addled brain it never occurred to me to wonder where her rotten of a no-good slut sister was.
The next thing I knew my foot caught on something and I was headed straight for the ledge of the stairs.
I knew this fall would be a bad one, and as I waited for the pain to come I pray for the safety of my child.
Delicate arms surrounded me, and I heard a snarl of epic proportions.
It was Rosalie.
My head felt fuzzy, black spots clouded my eyes and my heart was pounding a mile a minute. I had just nearly fallen down a flight of marble stairs.
I knew I hadn’t tripped over my own feet, and it was made apparent when Rosalie, Charlotte, Kate and Tanya did not return home in the same car as us.
I was shaking and I just wanted Jasper.
He flew out the door when we pulled up and had my door open before Esme had the car in park.
“Rose called. God, are you alright?” He asked frantically, running his hands over my face.
I nodded, “Yeah, just a little shaken up.”
Taking me by the hands Jasper helped me from the seat and encased me in his arms protectively.
My eyes were starting to sting and I was briefly thinking about hopping the next flight back to Chicago, I loved it here, but all this drama was becoming too much. It would have been different if it had just been me, but I had to protect the tiny life growing inside me, and it was clear that there were those among us that didn’t want me here.
“What happened?” I heard Jazz bark out.
Alice was the one to answer. “I think Tanya tripped her going down the stairs, I don’t know for sure, Charlotte and Rose were the one’s who saw it.”
“And where are they now?” I couldn’t see his face, because my head was buried in his chest, but I could tell from the tone of his voice, however muffled, he was fuming.
By the clickety-clack of heels I could tell Esme was approaching. “Carlisle is on his way now to bail them out.”
My head jerked up, “Bail out? As in jail?”
Esme nodded. “Tanya and Kate, too. After we took you to the car I guess the girls got into a rather heated argument.”
I heard gravel crunching and the tale-tell sighs of two motors coming up the drive. I assumed it that would be the rest of the family.
I nodded, “Yeah, just a little shaken up.”
Taking me by the hands Jasper helped me from the seat and encased me in his arms protectively.
My eyes were starting to sting and I was briefly thinking about hopping the next flight back to Chicago, I loved it here, but all this drama was becoming too much. It would have been different if it had just been me, but I had to protect the tiny life growing inside me, and it was clear that there were those among us that didn’t want me here.
“What happened?” I heard Jazz bark out.
Alice was the one to answer. “I think Tanya tripped her going down the stairs, I don’t know for sure, Charlotte and Rose were the one’s who saw it.”
“And where are they now?” I couldn’t see his face, because my head was buried in his chest, but I could tell from the tone of his voice, however muffled, he was fuming.
By the clickety-clack of heels I could tell Esme was approaching. “Carlisle is on his way now to bail them out.”
My head jerked up, “Bail out? As in jail?”
Esme nodded. “Tanya and Kate, too. After we took you to the car I guess the girls got into a rather heated argument.”
I heard gravel crunching and the tale-tell sighs of two motors coming up the drive. I assumed it that would be the rest of the family.
“Jazz-” Alice starts.
“No! I fuckin’ told you to keep those things away from me and my family,” Jazz growled out cutting off what ever it was Alice had to say. “and what do you do?”
“I’m sorry, Jazz.” Alice’s says as her bottom lip starts to tremble, and I feel bad Jasper is being so hard on her.
“Jasper!” I hiss, elbowing him in the ribs.
“I’m sorry Alice, I-I just… ARGH!,” He yells in his furry. “Just get away from me right now.”
She nods and smiles at me, kinda of a thanks you for not letting Jazz go all postal on her.
Eight car doors slam and I look up and laugh my ass off.
Tanya and Kate are both sporting shiners and Tanya has a police blanket wrapped around her, apparently she lost her shirt in the ‘heated argument’, while Charlotte and Rose look perfectly fine, more than fine, supermodel fine.
“No! I fuckin’ told you to keep those things away from me and my family,” Jazz growled out cutting off what ever it was Alice had to say. “and what do you do?”
“I’m sorry, Jazz.” Alice’s says as her bottom lip starts to tremble, and I feel bad Jasper is being so hard on her.
“Jasper!” I hiss, elbowing him in the ribs.
“I’m sorry Alice, I-I just… ARGH!,” He yells in his furry. “Just get away from me right now.”
She nods and smiles at me, kinda of a thanks you for not letting Jazz go all postal on her.
Eight car doors slam and I look up and laugh my ass off.
Tanya and Kate are both sporting shiners and Tanya has a police blanket wrapped around her, apparently she lost her shirt in the ‘heated argument’, while Charlotte and Rose look perfectly fine, more than fine, supermodel fine.
I cock an eyebrow at both of them and Charlotte shrugs her shoulders and says, “What? I grew up in the South.”
I just shake my head and hug them both as they flip their beautiful golden hair and strut into the house.
Emmett and Peter run up and Emmett jaw is on the floor at Kate and Tanya’s appearance.
I just shake my head and hug them both as they flip their beautiful golden hair and strut into the house.
Emmett and Peter run up and Emmett jaw is on the floor at Kate and Tanya’s appearance.
“What the hell?” He asks.
“Don’t ask!” Jasper snaps, and I realize that its time to take him upstairs and let him cool off.
I pull at the light beard he’s been growing since being in Ireland and he turns his head down to look at me.
“Let’s go upstairs for a while,” I tell him in my most seductive voice, “I’m feeling kind of dirty, you can wash my back.”
His blue eyes darken as he makes this sexy sound; like a mix of a cat purring and a growl.
So sexy.
I was caught up in the moment, when I hear a familiar shrieking and the even more familiar snarl of my little buddy, I look down finding him hooked up to one of those doggy harness’ that’s attached to a leash that Em is holding.
“Don’t ask!” Jasper snaps, and I realize that its time to take him upstairs and let him cool off.
I pull at the light beard he’s been growing since being in Ireland and he turns his head down to look at me.
“Let’s go upstairs for a while,” I tell him in my most seductive voice, “I’m feeling kind of dirty, you can wash my back.”
His blue eyes darken as he makes this sexy sound; like a mix of a cat purring and a growl.
So sexy.
I was caught up in the moment, when I hear a familiar shrieking and the even more familiar snarl of my little buddy, I look down finding him hooked up to one of those doggy harness’ that’s attached to a leash that Em is holding.
I made a mental reminder to ask Emmett why he has felt the need to steal my dog… again.
My eyes go wide as I watch my little man snapping at Kate’s ankle.
She screamed in horror and started shooing him with her heeled foot.
“My God, get it away from me!” she screeched, and Tanya being as I like to call her the more Butch of the two takes of her perfectly spiked heels and attempt to hit my little one eyed dog with it.
I lurch from Jasper’s arms and grab her arm in mid strike.
“If you even think about hitting my dog, I will personally put your ass in the hospital!”
“Why you-”
“Ah-uh-uh. I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I was you,” Rue sings in amusement, pointing somewhere behind me, but I don’t have to turn to know what she’s pointing at.
My eyes go wide as I watch my little man snapping at Kate’s ankle.
She screamed in horror and started shooing him with her heeled foot.
“My God, get it away from me!” she screeched, and Tanya being as I like to call her the more Butch of the two takes of her perfectly spiked heels and attempt to hit my little one eyed dog with it.
I lurch from Jasper’s arms and grab her arm in mid strike.
“If you even think about hitting my dog, I will personally put your ass in the hospital!”
“Why you-”
“Ah-uh-uh. I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I was you,” Rue sings in amusement, pointing somewhere behind me, but I don’t have to turn to know what she’s pointing at.
As I thought, Jasper’s face was drawn up in a deep scowl, his eyes were dark, his fists balled at his side, and I could literally hear his teeth grinding from where I stood, still holding Skankerlla’s arm.
The whole family sucks in a breath in unison, as we wait for the rubber band to snap.
And it does.
With what seemed like the roar of a lion Jasper belts out, “EVERYONE IN THE FUCKIN’ HOUSE! … NOW!”
So much for me coolin’ him down any.
I smile as I think about the fun tongue lashing two rich bimbo’s are about to get.
~~
We all comfortably take our seat’s in one of the less formal living area’s, and I’m thinking Esme did that for a reason, she say’s it because it’s the biggest, but you sly, silly Esme, I’ve got your number.
You see, the furniture in this room is the oldest in the house, and I recall hearing her tell Alice in passing that this room was the next on her list to redecorate.
That impressively sly woman is hoping Jazz will start a war in here, then she get’s to redecorate sooner.
I feel I should have a note-pad or something to write this stuff down with, cause I could learn a lot from this woman.
After Whore Barbie and her sister huffed their way to their seat’s, Jasper took a deep breath and asked “What happened?”
You see, the furniture in this room is the oldest in the house, and I recall hearing her tell Alice in passing that this room was the next on her list to redecorate.
That impressively sly woman is hoping Jazz will start a war in here, then she get’s to redecorate sooner.
I feel I should have a note-pad or something to write this stuff down with, cause I could learn a lot from this woman.
After Whore Barbie and her sister huffed their way to their seat’s, Jasper took a deep breath and asked “What happened?”
I know what he meant and who it was directed to, and so did he, the rest of the family not so much.The room erupts like Mt. St. Helen as everyone starts taking at once.
I got a little nervous.
Jazz was already in a delicate state when we came into the house, and quickly the family was treading thin ice. The black and deadly kind.
I can almost see it rising with in him, pulsing through him as his posture stiffens and the vein in his forehead pops out.
Jasper stays quite as the rest of them argue amongst themselves about what really went down, and who said what to who.
They were fucking brainless.
You’d think I was the only one who knew how Jasper’s temper worked. He’d be quiet like he is now, while he lets the anger inside him swirl and fester until he blows.
And he’s about to.
“EVERYONE, SHUT UP AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN!”
And it’s peaceful again.
You could hear a pin drop in this room as everyone freezes in place; I don’t think anyone even blinked.
“Now,” Jasper says forcefully, “we’re gonna do this one at a time. What. The. Fuck. Happened?”
And of course, I shutter. Damn sexy man and his damn sexy voice.
My girl parts are salivating and waving at Jasper’s dick.
My less than appropriate train of thought is broken by the disgusting purr of an equally disgusting woman.
Tanya as it were, stood up, and turned a coy smile on Jasper. “We were having just an amazing day, you really should have come with us, but poor Bella must have slipped on that first stair on our way out,” she tells him, lying through her equally fake capped teeth, and smiling up at him through her lashes.
Then Kate stands following her sister, “I was just so horrified I couldn’t move, I was so scared Jazzy.”
“Now,” Jasper says forcefully, “we’re gonna do this one at a time. What. The. Fuck. Happened?”
And of course, I shutter. Damn sexy man and his damn sexy voice.
My girl parts are salivating and waving at Jasper’s dick.
My less than appropriate train of thought is broken by the disgusting purr of an equally disgusting woman.
Tanya as it were, stood up, and turned a coy smile on Jasper. “We were having just an amazing day, you really should have come with us, but poor Bella must have slipped on that first stair on our way out,” she tells him, lying through her equally fake capped teeth, and smiling up at him through her lashes.
Then Kate stands following her sister, “I was just so horrified I couldn’t move, I was so scared Jazzy.”
And that fucking cunt takes a step toward him.
I set Migg’s down on the pillow beside me, a little too forceful cause he yelps, but I’m sure Jazz has some doughnuts upstairs I can use to make nice later - and stand up with purpose.
I feel a large hand slide around my arm as I hear my brother whisper, “Bells, let Jazz handle this.”
“Let him handle it my ass!” I yell out, earning the attention of the room.
Emmett almost makes me laugh when he starts praying. “Lord, who art in Heaven-”
“You,” I point to Tanya. “Yeah you, you fucking walking tramp stamp, are a fucking liar! I know I didn’t slip and, I damn sure know I didn’t trip over my damn feet!”
I set Migg’s down on the pillow beside me, a little too forceful cause he yelps, but I’m sure Jazz has some doughnuts upstairs I can use to make nice later - and stand up with purpose.
I feel a large hand slide around my arm as I hear my brother whisper, “Bells, let Jazz handle this.”
“Let him handle it my ass!” I yell out, earning the attention of the room.
Emmett almost makes me laugh when he starts praying. “Lord, who art in Heaven-”
“You,” I point to Tanya. “Yeah you, you fucking walking tramp stamp, are a fucking liar! I know I didn’t slip and, I damn sure know I didn’t trip over my damn feet!”
I’m huffin’ and puffin’ by the time I’m through letting the barracuda sisters have it, and Emmett’s trying hard and failing not to bust up.
Tanya’s face screws up before she lets loose the most sickly fake laugh I’ve ever heard. “Oh, Jazzy, she’s embarrassed!” And it occurs to me that this bitch is not only trying to take my man, but the Suzy-home wrecker is laughing. At me.
“Is that what happened?” Jazz asked in mock belief.
Tanya’s face screws up before she lets loose the most sickly fake laugh I’ve ever heard. “Oh, Jazzy, she’s embarrassed!” And it occurs to me that this bitch is not only trying to take my man, but the Suzy-home wrecker is laughing. At me.
“Is that what happened?” Jazz asked in mock belief.
Kate just nods and bats her lashes, but Tanya pipes up, because I think she can’t help herself. “Of course, why would we ever want to hurt Bella?”
“Dear Lord,” Granny Platt huffed. “The wheels are turnin’ but the hamster’s dead.”
She turned to Kate and Tanya. “Are you two stupid er’ somthin’?”
Tanya and Kate looked thoroughly confused.
Trudy threw her hands in the air and exclaimed. “It’s like tryin’ t’ heard cats.”
“You two are like a bogger that ya can’t thump off, you two are about as welcome here as a hair in a biscuit.”
Em and I were snickering together as we watched Tanya and Kate burning the last useful cell in their brains trying to figure out what Trudy had just said to them.
“Christ!” Garrett said, surprising me and well…everyone. “They don’t want you here. Nobody does!”
“What?” They gasped and unison, and it was my turn to laugh. They really were bad actresses.
“You heard the midget,” Rue said, hand thrown on her hip, glass of scotch in the other. “Go on ya power-hungry, money grubber, get!”
And I swear she was off to fetch a broom, like chasin’ coons fetching the broom.
“But!” Tanya said, face growing redder by the second.
“But nothin’, you heard the lady, get out.” Jasper growled.
She turned to Kate and Tanya. “Are you two stupid er’ somthin’?”
Tanya and Kate looked thoroughly confused.
Trudy threw her hands in the air and exclaimed. “It’s like tryin’ t’ heard cats.”
“You two are like a bogger that ya can’t thump off, you two are about as welcome here as a hair in a biscuit.”
Em and I were snickering together as we watched Tanya and Kate burning the last useful cell in their brains trying to figure out what Trudy had just said to them.
“Christ!” Garrett said, surprising me and well…everyone. “They don’t want you here. Nobody does!”
“What?” They gasped and unison, and it was my turn to laugh. They really were bad actresses.
“You heard the midget,” Rue said, hand thrown on her hip, glass of scotch in the other. “Go on ya power-hungry, money grubber, get!”
And I swear she was off to fetch a broom, like chasin’ coons fetching the broom.
“But!” Tanya said, face growing redder by the second.
“But nothin’, you heard the lady, get out.” Jasper growled.
“My father will be hearing about this.” Kate spat as she picked up her tacky bag. “Come on Tay.”
Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper laughed. “You do that. Tell Eleazar he knows my extension.”
Then they left all snooty with their pomp and pageantry, and I sighed in relief.
One less thing to deal with.
I drifted off to my own thoughts for a while as Jasper was filled in on what really happened today.
I had let my guard down, not a mistake I’d be likely to make around those two again.
“Fuck those snooty… I’ll fucking kill the whole lot of them… fuckin’ skanks.” Were just a few phrases to break my thought coma.
Jasper was ranting again, and I don’t think he realizes how cute he is when he’s pacing the floor, flailing his arms about, like he could conjure bullets out of thin air.
Oh wait! He could.
Well kinda.
My downstairs was heating up again and it wasn’t long before the girl bits were batting their imaginary eyelashes and waving coyly at Jasper’s… ‘gun’.
“Hey cowboy?” I called to him. “How bout that shower?”
And he smiled at me.
God I love my life.
Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper laughed. “You do that. Tell Eleazar he knows my extension.”
Then they left all snooty with their pomp and pageantry, and I sighed in relief.
One less thing to deal with.
I drifted off to my own thoughts for a while as Jasper was filled in on what really happened today.
I had let my guard down, not a mistake I’d be likely to make around those two again.
“Fuck those snooty… I’ll fucking kill the whole lot of them… fuckin’ skanks.” Were just a few phrases to break my thought coma.
Jasper was ranting again, and I don’t think he realizes how cute he is when he’s pacing the floor, flailing his arms about, like he could conjure bullets out of thin air.
Oh wait! He could.
Well kinda.
My downstairs was heating up again and it wasn’t long before the girl bits were batting their imaginary eyelashes and waving coyly at Jasper’s… ‘gun’.
“Hey cowboy?” I called to him. “How bout that shower?”
And he smiled at me.
God I love my life.
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